HOLIscope

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Hardworking Capricorn, you’re determined to master every trick for maximum treat payout. However, your ambition might backfire when you try to climb onto the forbidden furniture. Stay patient; good things (and snacks) come to those who wait. A well-timed bark will secure extra walks. Channel your inner goat and conquer the stairs.

Lucky flavor: RABBIT!

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Quirky Aquarius, your weirdness is on full display this week. You’ll insist on barking at shadows and wagging at nothing. Your humans will question your sanity, but you know the truth: it’s fun. A water bowl mishap leaves you soaking but unbothered. Lean into your individuality—it’s what makes you pawsitively unforgettable.

Favorite flavor: ELK!

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Dreamy Pisces, your nap game is legendary, and this week is no exception. You’ll stare longingly out the window as if contemplating life, but really, it’s just a squirrel. Your humans adore your cuddles, so expect endless snuggles. Beware: someone may try to photograph you in a silly outfit. Play along—it’s worth the extra treat.

Lucky flavor: SALMON!

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Zoomies are in your future, Aries pup! Your bold spirit makes you the leader of every pack, even if no one else agrees. Watch out for mysterious puddles—they’re not portals, just wet surprises. Chase that squirrel, but remember: it’s okay to take a breather. The stars say your barking will win arguments… or at least confuse everyone.

Lucky flavor: BEEF!

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20)

Taurus doggos, your love of snacks knows no bounds this week. Every couch cushion is a treasure trove of crumbs. Your stubborn refusal to “sit” might frustrate your human, but honestly, you deserve that second treat. Slow walks are your vibe—sniff every bush like it’s your personal Yelp review. Avoid shoes; they’re not chew toys… yet.

Lucky flavor: CHEESE!

Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20)

Two personalities, one dog? Sounds about right, Gemini. You’ll chase your tail one minute, then contemplate the universe the next. Your charm wins over the new neighbor, but don’t get too cocky—there’s still a cat who’s unimpressed. A frisbee is in your future, but remember: catching it is optional. Duality is exhausting; take a nap.

Lucky flavor: LAMB!

Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22)

Emotional Cancer pups, your clinginess hits a new high as you refuse to let your human pee alone. The stars say belly rubs are abundant this week, so milk it. You might feel the urge to howl dramatically when left alone, but try to channel that energy into shredding a pillow instead—it’s oddly therapeutic.

Lucky flavor: CHICKEN!

Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

King or queen of the dog park, you rule with a wagging tail, Leo! Strut your stuff and claim that sunny patch of grass like the royalty you are. Beware of overconfidence when leaping for a treat—it’s further than it looks. Your dramatic flair will make bath time a full-blown soap opera. Bravo!

Lucky flavor: SALMON!

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Detail-oriented Virgo, you’ll sniff out every crumb under the dining table with laser focus. Your walks take forever because every tree matters. A surprise grooming session looms, so prepare your side-eye. While you’re busy keeping your toy collection organized, remember: perfection is overrated. Roll in the mud—it’s liberating.

Favorite flavor : LAMB!

Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Social Libra, your charm will have all the humans and dogs fighting over you at the park. But don’t let the drama distract you from the real prize: the squeaky toy. You’ll spend hours deciding between lying on the rug or the couch. Spoiler alert: pick the couch. A treat-sharing opportunity is on the horizon—act cute and win.

Favorite flavor: BEEF!

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Mysterious Scorpio pups, your intense stare can see into human souls… or at least into the treat jar. You’ll uncover secrets this week, like where the cat has been hiding your toys. Revenge is tempting, but consider the consequences: fewer snacks. Dig deep (literally), and you’ll find treasures in the backyard. Or old socks. Either works.